Saturday, September 24, 2011

My Home in the Valley of the Sun

Hey, remember when I said I'd post pictures of my new apartment?  And you know how you've been squirming in suspense since then, eagerly anticipating the day I would reveal my totally rad decorating scheme?

Well, you can breathe a sigh of relief, grasshoppers, because the Day of Revelation is today.

Where to begin? 

First, I want to say that I love my new apartment.  It's big, it's cheap, it has lots of storage, there are no screaming babies or barking dogs, it's not in the ghetto, and it's within a short distance of two grocery stores, a pharmacy, two gas stations, and tons of hip restaurants.  There are no apartments above or below me, and my music-blasting neighbor has chilled out since the last time I blogged about this, so it's even quiet here most of the time.  But best of all, this place isn't infested with critters.  I have not seen a single centipede since I moved here, nor any bats, mice, silverfish, or any other creepy-crawly thing that makes me cry.  I did see one cockroach and three crickets, but they were dead and near my front door, so I don't consider that an infestation.  And in case you're wondering, no, I have not seen any scorpions or snakes.  Probably because I live smack in the middle of a massive cement jungle filled with 4 million people, and that's not exactly their preferred habitat.  There aren't even any mosquitoes here, and hardly any spiders. 

So here's my street:


Standing in my building's parking lot:


The walkway through the courtyard to my door:


The pool in front of my door:


The walkway to my neighbors' doors:


The laundry room walkway:


My patio:

Featuring an amazing view of my bicycle's flat tire.

The aloe I resuscitated.  This guy did not have a single green spot on him when I moved in; he was 100% brown:

My entryway:


And the star of the show, The Spiral Staircase:


See those tiles under the stairs?  Apparently that used to be an indoor goldfish pond back in the 1970s, when this place was built.  All the apartments in this building have the same setup, too.  Not sure how that worked, like who fed the fish and cleaned their tanks and filters and whatnot--the tenants or someone else?  Who ever heard of pets included with an apartment?  Well, thank goodness those fish are all gone now.  Tiles don't eat nearly as much.   

Next to that, my living room:


Note the complete lack of desert southwest elements.  No kokopellis, no dream catchers, no longhorn skulls, no Navajo blankets.  I've been into the whole Old World/English/German eclectic thing for 5 years, and that's how it's going to stay for now.  Heavy tapestries, florals, and fine art portraits...that's my thing.

Table for two:


My kitchen:


Bathroom Number One:


Here's where I am sitting right now (the below picture, not the above one), blogging about decorating when I should be reading about the evolution of tooth enamel in primates and its relation to feeding ecology:

Hey Emily, can you see I got your letter??

Going upstairs now, here's where I lay my weary head each night, perchance to dream about my braces coming apart and my teeth falling out:


And across from that, my lil' crafting table, where I sew, make wire jewelry, wrap presents, make cards, paint and fix things, and reupholster chairs (always in white, of course).  Like that one right there: 

I may or may not leave it in this configuration.  That clutter on the left is kind of bugging me.

And finally, Bathroom Number Two!  That's right, I have two toilets to clean, people.  Two toilets to keep stocked with toilet paper.  Two bathrooms in a one-bedroom apartment.  Outrageous, I know:


The upstairs bathroom is set up like a hotel room, where the sink is in a separate area from the shower.  But this gives Princess plenty of space to get ready in the morning.  After years of living in apartments with annoying teeny bathrooms, I can't tell you how much I appreciate having enough room to dry and comb my hair each day without knocking my elbows on the walls.  God, maybe that's why my hairdo used to look like shit so often.


And the most simple yet wonderful of all possible luxuries: a walk-in closet.  These are so awesome for so many reasons, and I could write a goddamned sonnet about all the ways that walk-in closets help you save time, save money, and stay organized.  I truly believe they should be standard in all homes.

And that's only one side!

So there you go.  That's my place.  I can hear you all thanking me now for allowing you to release the suspense that had been welling up inside you all this time.

You are most welcome.