Monday, January 16, 2017

I am smellin' like the rose that somebody gave me 'cause I'm dead & bloated

Can you believe it??

After three long years, this blog is rising from the DEAD! It is being EXHUMED!

That's my updated profile photo, there.

And all this time you thought I was one of those bloggers who only blogged when it was popular and then abandoned my blog when blogging fell out of fashion and the herds migrated to Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, and YouTube channels.


Well, whoever told you that is completely full of truth.

Okay, not really. I took a break from blogging for a couple of reasons, none of them having to do with social media fashions.

One, that relationship with the Dutchman was suffocating me and I had to fight for every moment of alone time. Two, I was working a corporate job and my life was devoid of adventure, so my mind was too dull and placated to generate material. And three, I just needed a break.

Wow! So here we are. Does it smell musty in here? The cobwebs were insane. What a boring theme I had! And my, how Blogger has changed. I feel like I'm stomping on Gloria Steinem and Andrea Dworkin by splashing Kool-Aid pink everywhere, but I LOVE this color. So.

Man, I've missed blogging. I'VE MISSED IT SO MUCH!! I've missed writing long pieces about weird stuff. I've missed chewing on an idea and not setting aside time to write about it.

I just can't bear not writing. Journaling is good too, but sometimes I crack myself up and I feel like my jokes should be in the public domain so they can spread like Zika virus. If you see someone with a shrunken head, that's what really happened--they heard one of my jokes.

I turn the world around with a skeleton hand, yeah.

Anyway, it's a good thing I didn't have many readers, because now I'd be worried about reestablishing traffic flow. I was thinking how tight it would be if I retitled this "The Anti-Blog" or "The Worst Blog in the World" and distinguished myself by taking it from mediocre to the most tacky, tasteless, utterly dismaying blog around.

Just sayin', don't be surprised if the blog name changes to something ultra-tacky and degenerate.

Speaking of tasteless and degenerate and the "no such thing as bad publicity" mindset, I'm secretly giggling at the names the opposition is giving to The Orange One:

Trumple Thin-skin 
Tweeto McCheeto
Agent Orange 
Trumpside Down

And the commentary on his social media habits...

That's all for today, grasshoppers. See you soon!